Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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