oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
