I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
