Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
