matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
