no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
