He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
