Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
bring money and cleavage
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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