I murdered the dance floor call the cops
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
