Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm jealous of your bromance
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
