so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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