he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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