i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
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