I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
