Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He better not be in your backpack
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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