i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
