so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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