I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Barsexuality is the new black.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I think your dad took our porno
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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