i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
