maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
