I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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