happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
there is glitter all over my balls
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