I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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