Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
