she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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