He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
