I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
