I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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