Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
