after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize