I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Life is so much better after having sex.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
