Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
