Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
