belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
