with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
