i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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