i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
