Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
