she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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