better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
