I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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