I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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