I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
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