I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize