We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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