I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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