You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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