chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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