If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
