ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
