whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
