I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
