I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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