He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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