if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
