I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
