Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
