I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
i think im in europe. pls send help
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
