So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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