what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
