Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
