Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
