I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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