you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
