if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
