yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize