I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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